The Woman Who Must Be Everything

I'm a mother. I'm a writer, a homemaker, a Christian, and a homeschooler. I'm expected to keep the house clean and the kids alive. (And I need to look gorgeous while doing it. This includes all the hygiene and grooming and exercising.) I cook meals, change diapers, write novels, teach Sunday school, take my kids on field trips...but not all at once.

I WANTED to plant a garden this Fall.

There are a lot of expectations for me, not just as a mother, but also because I've taken on a number of other roles. I put most of these expectations on myself. I choose to be a mother and a Christian. These things are important to me and I would never give these roles up for anything. The writing and homemaking: also important. I feel homeschool is good for my family right now. All of this is time-consuming, but I CHOSE this. And I can DO this.

But not all at once.

Yeah.
Right.

It seems like there's always someone with a cleaner house. There's always someone who teaches these awesome lessons with visuals and related activities and crafts. And then I look at the woman who can cook healthy, delicious meals on a budget.

I can do those things. Honest. Just not at the same time.

See, I've realized that I work in phases. I'll be a good homemaker for a few months days, and then the house falls to pot while I focus on my writing. When I run 5 days a week, my writing stalls out. When I'm focused on buying lots of fruits & veggies and working them into meals (that my kids will actually eat), the running takes a back seat. I see where I'm lacking and jump in, head-first, to fix it.

the "Homemade Gifts" Christmas project
Huge time suck, but a creative outlet

And this is SO frustrating.

Seriously. It'll be late at night and the kids are in bed. There's too much on my to-do list and I'm exhausted. And I find myself asking why I can't have a clean home and cook healthy meals and homeschool my kindergartner, take care of my other two kids and serve in church, be a good mom, exercise every day and write novels.

And then I laugh at myself. Because that's not realistic. AT ALL. I mean, just reading over that list, it's crazy, right?

Homeschool schedule
 (that was tweaked a few times after this was taken)

Why would anyone expect one person to do all that? (And I'm the only person who puts this pressure on me. It's not coming from anyone else.) What kind of world do we live in where a person feels guilty about not being superhuman?

Oh, yeah. I have books.

So I've decided to do the best I can. I mean, that's what I've BEEN doing, technically. But now it'll be okay to not be great at everything. There needs to be a balance. There needs to be moderation in all these things. (What a concept!)

My potty training techniques
are highly sophisticated.

So, whatever you're struggling with, you should know that you're not alone. (Because I'm pretty sure I'm not the only person who feels like this.) There has to be a better way. And I'm going to find it.

  Here's to moderation.

The Fairy Tale Twist (The Ivy Thorn Series #2)

Progress: Now Available

Amazon

Barnes and Noble

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Ivy has figured out how to keep the pixies away. She's safe! But now there are other things to worry about.

In an effort to protect her unborn brother, Ivy strikes a deal with the creepy little pixie who trapped her before. But when she finds herself in a family of disappearing princesses, Ivy throws the fairy tale on its ear to save the kingdom from a destructive love spell.

You can hold it in your hands now!

Guess what came in the mail?

Yeah, it's a little early, but I can't wait any more. The Fairy Tale Trap (Ivy Thorn book 1) is now available in paperback! And just before The Fairy Tale Twist comes out, too. :)

I've been completely immersed in Ivy's fairy tale world as I get The Fairy Tale Twist done. Book 2 will be out in less that 2 weeks and there's other fun stuff that I'm excited about.

By beta readers mentioned a story line or two that were left unresolved at the end of The Fairy Tale Twist. They got me thinking, because 1) they were right, but 2) that's not part of Ivy's story. It doesn't make sense to include it in The Fairy Tale Twist because Ivy isn't all that involved.

But the story needs to be told. And it should be a good one. (I don't know for sure, since I haven't written it yet. Funny how that works.) 

I'd like for Ivy to make an appearance in this companion story, but that depends on how she handles herself in the third book of the series: The Fairy Tale Duel. Cause, you know, she might die or get stuck forever in that new fairy tale or something else really horrible. You never know. ;)

So, yeah. Fairy Tale Trap is out in paperback.
Fairy Tale Twist (ebook) out in a couple weeks.
Fairy Tale Duel will come next year.
Companion book, with characters from book 2, is also in the works.

I've also been asked if the whole series will be out in paperback. I'd love that. It takes a lot of time and banging my head on the desk to get a novel formatted for paperback and get a cover ready and all that. I don't mind doing it (there is some fun involved) but I don't want to give up that much of my writing time if people aren't actually going to read it. So, the answer is: Yes. I'll release the whole series in paperback, as long as the first book sells. I hope you understand it's just a matter of priorities and how I spend my time. There's only so much of it. :)

Writing a Story is Like Learning to Cook

You know that moment, when you taste something amazing? Maybe you're at a restaurant, or it's one of your grandmother's famous recipes. When you finish eating, you look down at your empty plate and you think, "I have to eat this again."

There are ways to make this happen. You can keep coming to the restaurant, you can beg your grandma to make more, or maybe... just maybe... you can make it at home. 

When that thought enters your mind, you have to assess your time, your talent in the kitchen, and how difficult the recipe will be. Do you have the patience? Can you figure out the ingredients? Will you ever be able to make something that tastes this great?

When you have complete control over what goes into the dish, maybe your creative side goes a little crazy. "You know, it could be really good with fresh mint... Ooh! Or basil!"

But you need to be careful. Too much creativity can get in the way of what you're really trying to achieve: yummy culinary goodness.

Weaving a good story is like nailing the recipe that has haunted you ever since you tasted it.

Like cooking, writing a story can be dangerous if you don't balance knowledge and creativity. You don't want to wind up with cheesy-banana trout. You want your readers to get joy from your book. You want make a book that's magical, the way other authors have done for you.

But if it's not fun, you're probably doing it wrong. When I stress out about a book, or do so much research my brain hurts, it comes out in my story. The characters get boring. The tension falls flat like an under-cooked souffle.

I'm still fairly new at this writing thing. Cognitive psychologists tell us it takes ten years before a writer reaches excellence. I've been going strong for about 6 now. And like my cooking skills, my writing is inconsistent. Sometimes I write something that would make my readers turn green. So I go back, I chop out the rough parts of the story, rearrange some key elements, and beef-up the personality of my characters. I find the weak spots and figure out what I can add to balance the story or make it richer.

The beauty of writing is: the reader doesn't see every draft.

My early draft work is a pile of failed attempts. Eventually, I get something I think is publishable, but there's always work involved that isn't seen by the rest of the world.

No matter what you want to get good at, there's work that goes on behind the curtain.

But if it's something you really want, and if you put in enough effort (and patience and sacrifice), you can make something worthwhile.