I'm a writer. I have a newborn baby and a toddler and a preschooler. I don't write every day. I tell myself I'm tired, that my brain is too mushy to write, that I'm too busy, and that this is just a time in my life that's especially hard. Other people tell me to focus on myself. That I have enough on my plate. But you know what?
None of that matters.
Because I'm a writer.
If I want to consider myself a writer, I need to be writing. Regularly. Small amounts are fine. 10 minutes a time is fine. But I need to be writing.
The fact is, life is rarely easy. Sometimes I imagine myself 20 years from now, with the children grown. I'm in a quiet house and I'm always eager and excited to write. I'm always inspired. I have my own desk and a corkboard with inspiring pictures tacked all over it. I write for hours a day, blissfully.
That's a fantasy. It'll never happen. Life has a way of making sure we still have to prioritize. And being a mother of small children doesn't mean I'm exempt.
If I want to be a writer, then I must write.
When I look back and count the number of days I didn't write anything (but could have), I cringe. Those were missed opportunities. Times when I could have been focused, devoted, and loyal to my readers. But it's in the past. I'm trying to see those missed opportunities as a reason to change. Wallowing doesn't help (and wishing I had worked on my book doesn't make me a writer).
So I'm resolved to be more of a writer than I was last week. There's no excuse. Because writers write.
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2 comments:
Yes, I look blissfully to the future, too, thinking of a time when everything will be perfect. When I'll have all the time in the world, and an amazing writing room, and, somehow, no end of the perfect words. But you're right; it's not going to happen. And it especially won't happen if I don't write now, to justify all those future dreams.
Writers write, but they have to refill the tank, too. When you can't write, you read. It still helps to expand your range as a writer.
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