Take Your Proper English with You (Blog Tour)

I wrote a guest post for C.L. Roth's blog today. In it, I talk about a very personal experience I had when I was a kid. My sister read the post and asked, "Did that really happen?" Sadly, it did.

Everyone knows they’re smart when they’re little. Mommy says it all the time. Then you go to school and you realize you don’t know everything. Still, I knew I was smart. I always understood what the teacher was saying and I was usually the first kid in the class to finish my work. School was fun, and I thought that was a good thing.

Well, it is. But not everybody sees it that way.

In fifth grade, I had a group of girlfriends—neighborhood kids that went to my school. We went to each other’s houses, played outside all the time, went shopping together (as tweens are wont to do) and maybe even had a sleepover or two.

Somehow, out of the blue, I became the odd one out. As an adult, I realize this happens and that girls change a lot around this age. They can be mean and petty, and all-too-often, they turn cruel.


Read more >>

Things I Never Said Before I Was a Mom

A few quick notes: The book cover design contest ends this weekend. I have some fantastic entries, but would always like to see more. Just so you know, the winning entry WILL be the official cover of THE FAIRY TALE TRAP ebook which comes out December 20th!

Also, I'm working on some bonus material for the ebook. What would you like to see? (I've come up with some ideas for the poll in the sidebar, but if you want to see something else, please leave it in the comments!)

That said...

I've started a new blog, called Things I Never Said Before I Was a Mom. I think it's pretty self-explanatory, but the website address is based on something my mom said to me when I was two: "Stop standing on the bread."

http://stopstandingonthebread.blogspot.com/

Anyway, I thought I'd share the first few posts with my readers on this blog, in case you want a quick laugh.

"We don't rub our tushy with necklaces!"

"Get your foot out of the Crock Pot."

"Get the bath toys out of the toilet!"

Kid-Friendly Recipe: Whiny Bread

Whiny Bread was originally going to be called Double-Berry Banana Bread, but Thing #1, my sweet daughter Rebecca (bless her) inspired me.

Rebecca loves to cook. She especially likes to make muffins. One day, she decides: This is the day I WILL make muffins. So, she bugs me. And when I say 'bug', I mean every five minutes: "Hey, Mom. Can we make muffins?" Every time, she says it like the idea just came to her, like she's just spouting off some stray thought.

Well, I caved.

I was going to make banana bread (because bananas were 25 cents a pound at Wal Mart and, well, I had a lot of bananas) but I had these frozen blueberries. I needed freezer space, I didn't have anything else in mind for those blueberries, so in they went. I replaced some of my mashed bananas with thawed blueberries. (I still have bananas on hand. Oh well.)

Note: Adding blueberries to banana bread batter makes it less pretty:

That's a lot of batter, I know. I froze some of it for later. (Bananas don't last forever.) I also added some dried cranberries and of course chocolate chips. Chocolate is a must.

So, the oven is preheating and I'm scooping batter into the muffin tin when Rebecca asks, "Mom, can we take a bath?"

At this point, I'm counting to an insanely high number before responding. She hasn't even eaten a muffin yet and she's already asking for something else?!

"Sure, honey. After muffins."

I continue to scoop batter and she goes off to play with her little brother. Pretty soon, the muffins are baking and Rebecca is missing.

She's a big girl. She probably went to play with toys.

Nope.

She runs back into the kitchen stark. Naked.

The muffins are in the oven. I can't give her a bath right this second. When I tell her this, she cries. I don't know why, but watching her melt down over a gentle "not now" is funny. (I know, I'm terrible.) Rebecca slumps to the floor, whining about how she wants to take a bath. You'd think I just told her she can never bathe again.

And so, Whiny Bread was born:

It's even the right color. And it has a soothing ingredient to mend a broken heart: chocolate.

Hmm... maybe I should call them Sanity Muffins.