July 16, 2009

Improved Scene: Car Crash

I got through my 17th scene today, including one of my sample sentences:


Mostly, this was just a bad scene. A lot of getting ready, talking, and traveling. When I boiled it all down to the real conflict, I realized that the scene was really just a lead-in to the next one: The Car Crash. So I shortened it, got rid of the boring stuff and used only what I needed to carry the bare minimum of the little pre-conflict into the big conflict. Here's the new card with the Sentence Lite:

The protag, antag, etc are really just my thought process as I came up with the new sentence. I'll go back and fix them later. The important part is that I have a focus for my scene when I come back to revise it.

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