June 26, 2011

Fairy Tales Gone Wrong: Riker's Fractured Fairy Tale

by Ivy Thorn

The last post I made on this blog, someone asked me for an example of something that can go wrong in a fairy tale if you don't follow my three rules. (Why is it always three?)

Well, I'm not the only one who gets trapped in fairy tales. Every now and then, I'll meet someone like me, someone who's been captured by one of those obnoxious pixies. I got sucked into the Twelve Dancing Princesses once, where I met this guy named Riker. I got his permission to tell you about one of his adventures. I think I mentioned him once. Riker survived The Clever Little Tailor.

Riker's a pretty awesome guy. Like me, he enjoys messing with people. I warned him about that. It can get you into trouble. He knew exactly what I meant.We were dancing at the time, so we had some time to talk.

"I had a little too much fun with that fairy tale," he said.

I stepped on his toe, but didn't apologize. He was used to it by that point. "What do you mean?"

He flashed a wicked grin. “I broke into the cheese shop.”

“You what? Why?”

“The tailor was supposed to trick the giant by squeezing some cheese. Says he’s squeezing moisture out of a rock.” He spun me around, slow enough that I didn't trip.

“So you stole all the cheese? That’s crazy.”

“Crazy delicious.” He grinned and patted his stomach. “But then the tailor had to scramble for a new plan. In the meantime, the giant tore up the entire village. Not pretty, when the whole community uses outhouses.”

I wrinkled my nose. “Tell me you’re kidding.”

“I’m kidding.” He dipped me really low, totally hamming it up. “But not really.”

When he pulled me back up, I tried giving him a look that said, “Oh, please.” but on the inside, I was cracking up. I just had this mental image of busted outhouses, all because this guy stole some cheese.

There you go. That's what can happen. So please, if you ever wake up in a fairy tale, follow the rules!

No comments:

.i2Style{ font:bold 24px Tahoma, Geneva, sans-serif; font-style:normal; color:#ffffff; background:#67b310; border:0px none #ffffff; text-shadow:0px -1px 1px #222222; box-shadow:2px 2px 5px #000000; -moz-box-shadow:2px 2px 5px #000000; -webkit-box-shadow:2px 2px 5px #000000; border-radius:90px 10px 90px 10px; -moz-border-radius:90px 10px 90px 10px; -webkit-border-radius:90px 10px 90px 10px; width:96px; padding:20px 43px; cursor:pointer; margin:0 auto; } .i2Style:active{ cursor:pointer; position:relative; top:2px; }