Define Rejection (and make it work FOR you)

Rejection. I've given my pep talk on why rejection isn't so bad because it brings you to something better, but I've been thinking about it. You know what? I'm really weird.

Rejection isn't just something I get through. I actually look forward to the query process. The form letters don't tear me apart. They used to. Man, those stupid emails filled with 'no' used to sting. But I think I understand more about the publishing industry and about my own weaknesses that rejection isn't personal.

We've all heard that: it's not personal. It's not a rejection of you, it's a rejection of this book at this time.

But if that's what the form letter isn't, then what IS it?

I'm not sure if that makes any sense. You can't define something by defining what it's not. You can't say that 'black' means 'not white'.

So what IS rejection?

When I'm querying, I check my email every day (okay, MULTIPLE times a day) hoping to hear back from an agent. Of course, I'm hoping for The One, but even if it doesn't come, I love to get replies.

Because a rejection is information. It's an evaluation of your query letter and maybe your first few chapters. Some agents request five pages or three chapters, others just want the query. Pay attention to who requests what. (I keep notes on each query using QueryTracker.net.) Because if you're getting form rejections from all the agents who requested pages, but you're getting personalized rejections or even partial requests from agents that only saw your query letter, you've learned something. It's your writing, and not your premise.Your query letter is fine. It's the writing sample that was weak.

There are lots of things you can learn by paying attention to your rejections. If you get nothing but form rejections no matter what you send, then you know you need to write another book. Don't bother killing yourself trying to make this book perfect. It wasn't even close. Go back. Try again.

So, I think that's why rejections don't completely suck for me. A rejection isn't a 'No'. It's a "No, but..." or a "No, and..."

Writers: Rejection is a Good Thing

I'm closing in on the end of my fairy tale book. This draft, at least. I'm just itching to get it out into the world. With every book I write, it's hard not to think: "This could be the one."

"The one", of course, is the book that lands me an agent and a publisher and a check. I'd continue to write, even if I knew I'd never write "the one", but it's nice to have validation, you know? Besides, my stories need to be read. They need to be shared.

Anyway...

So I'm getting closer to finishing this book. This is Ivy's book. (She deserves it. She's been a great character and so entertaining. For me, at least.) And I've already built my agent list. A list of several agents that I think would be a good match for my book, my future books, my career, and me.

And I can't help but think about rejection. It's part of the biz. You query for the "yes", but you have to prepare for the "no" (and the "no thanks" and the "sorry" and the "this is a subjective business" and "I'm going to have to pass" and "this isn't quite right for me").

But rejection is good. Rejection means you're trying. I think of my rejection letters as battle scars, badges of honor. Every query I've sent is a little ping that I sent out into the world. And every rejection was a response. Not the response I was looking for, but it was a response.

And with every response I get, the closer I get to the one that's going to make me jump up and down, run and scream like a kid playing freeze tag, and then collapse on the floor with a smile on my face.

Because I may not be very good at math, but I know a bit about statistics. I was a psychology major and we're all about statistics.

Daryl Sedore did a guest post on the blog Write to Done on Why Rejection Letters Are Great and I completely agree. They're great.

He writes:

Years ago I worked as a door to door salesperson doing cold calls. We’d go knocking on doors all over the neighbourhood and eventually get in. Sometimes it took ten minutes, sometimes an hour. Once in a while it took all day. I learned quickly that it was just a matter of knocking on doors before I got in. What I mean is, the more doors I covered, the faster I got in a house to do a presentation and possibly make a sale. So I ran. That’s right, I ran from door to door. It kept me energized and fired up so when I finally got in, I was ready to present and sell. I outsold my team month after month. The rest of the salespeople got depressed when a door slammed in their face. Not me, I loved it, because I was one closer to the door that would welcome me in.

And he makes a great point later in the post:

[...]You miss out on 100% of all literary agents that you don’t query.

Of course, the quality of your book is what really counts. You can't just query 300 agents for the same book and expect the law of averages to work for you.

But still.

I'm writing the best book I can. And I can't wait for it to get rejected. Because that means it's that much closer to becoming "the one".

Extra Post: My Swift Kick in the Pants

Okay, I needed this. Olivia, my friend, thank you for your perspective. I think you're right. She wrote:

seriously, you keep talking about Shadow Bound like it's dead! RIP THE THING APART! Every time you edit it will get better, I promise you. Having an agent say they'll look at it again if you edit it some more is a BIG DEAL, especially now. I don't understand why you haven't started editing it yet. Seriously, if an agent told me that, I'd chain myself to the computer until certain that every word was golden and ready for resubmission. Take your two weeks (or more) and get that first book ready and back out there. Give it a pass, then send it to two or three readers, then take that feedback and give it another pass, then send. That's my advise for you.

My reply:

I appreciate you getting onto me. I don't think Shadow Bound is dead, but it still feels... raw. I've torn it apart two or three times and part of me thinks it still needs some healing time before I dig in again. But you're right. I really need to get on that.

I'm signed up for Holly's How to Revise Your Novel, so it'll be 5 months before I finish that. >:(

But I don't think that should hold me back. You're right. I should go with Shadow Bound. I need to work on the voice, flesh out the scenes, build up realistic characters, and even out the tone. Shadow Bound deserves it. I'll do another edit, starting next week, then dig into Song of the Muse.

Thanks Olivia!

She's absolutely right. I've been too afraid to delve into Shadow Bound again. The little voice in the back of my head keeps telling me that I only have one more shot at making this book perfect. But there is no perfect. I need to make Shadow Bound the best I can make it. And then do it again.

Dealing with Rejection, Part 2

Just a couple of links today, but they're goodies.

The Blood-Red Pencil comes through again, giving some great advice on dealing with rejection. Lauri covers the reasons for rejection, too.



When in doubt, Nathan Bransford is a great go-to guy. He has posts on everything, including this guest blog on rejection and It's Not You, It's the Odds (and the Resonance Factor)

Dealing with Rejection, Part 1

Dealing with Rejection - This article is the best I've found on rejection. He covers how to look at rejections, how to keep moving forward, and how to push through the odds in order to get to publication. The second half of the article is written with short fiction in mind, but the principle is still the same: the more you submit, the better your chances.

You can't submit your work to three or four agents, get rejected by all of them, and then think that's the end. Submit to anybody who could be interested. (Don't submit if the agent doesn't want to see your genre. I think this goes without saying, but... it happens.)

Fiction Factor has an article that covers the basics. It has some answers to some simple questions, and it puts rejection into perspective.

Coping with Rejection as a Writer

The rejections are coming in. Some are more helpful than others. Each rejection tells me one of two things: either the story isn't a good fit for the agent, or my writing needs some improvement.

And I'm okay with that. No agent has told me, "Please never send me any more of your material. You'll never get good enough." I will get better. It may be that Shadow Bound is the book that will get me published. It may be the next book. Or maybe not. As long as each book is better than the last, I'm happy. For now. ;)

Whether I get an agent for Shadow Bound or not, I'm starting the early planning stages of my next project: Phantom. I'm so excited about this book. I've already worked through lesson 6 of How to Think Sideways, using whatever I can apply to this new project. I'm really pumped about this one. I'm really going to focus on voice and character with this one. There's always room for improvement with voice and character.

Anyway, I know some of you are dealing with rejection, so over the next couple of days I thought I'd share some posts that I've found helpful.