Writing After Life Kicks You in the Teeth

I always thought that writer's block wasn't a real thing. That you could just sit down and start writing, and eventually you would figure out what should happen next. I wrote for over seven years and hadn't ever experienced a block that I couldn't work free of in an hour. Free writing, brain maps, and character interviews are all useful for that sort of thing. I've even written ridiculously impossible scenes before and then edited them into coherency.

Then my life blew up.

It's not that I didn't have time to write. Everyone has time to write, if they make it a priority. (Or so I've been told.) But my life was falling apart, and I felt like I couldn't talk to anybody about it for over a year. And the emotional stress, or depression, or whatever you want to call it (neither of those terms seem quite right) whatever it was, it sucked the creativity out of me. I can't really explain it any other way. I had no desire to be creative or think about stories or even read. Which is kind of a big deal, for me. I didn't read a single book for a year.

Like I said, it's not that I didn't have the time. It's not that I didn't have ideas or something to be working on. (I've been in the middle of Lost Princesses for an embarrassingly long time.) I just didn't. Or couldn't. I'm not sure which.

During that time, I moved twice and took care of my kids, took a few college classes, and prepared to build my life back from the ground up. And I'm still in the middle of that process. But recently, I had a story idea.

Not just any idea. The first idea I've had in a very, very long time. The first inkling that I would ever be able to write again. (The guilt of not finishing my other books had been the only motivation I'd had during that time, and it wasn't enough motivation, obviously.)

I wrote down my idea, sketching out a short story from beginning to end. And I've been kinda excited about it.

And then today, I had an idea on six other related short stories that could become something very cool. Something I've never seen before in fiction. And I got so excited about it that I felt an almost panicky feeling. The feeling that I needed to write. Now.

So I did. I wrote a thousand words today.

I'm not sure what will happen with my writing. I don't know when the next book will come out. But what I can tell you is that I am writing. And it feels awesome.

Becoming the Writer I Want to Be

The other day, I wrote that I was having trouble juggling more than one project at a time. I said it wasn't going as smoothly as I had hoped. Writing is an art, and for me it requires a lot of mental energy. Writing is especially draining if I write by hand. 500 words in and I'm ready for a nap or at least just sit and stare at something on Netflix for a while. So it seems like working on a second project is impossible.

But I was telling my friend Ryan that this is something I want to be good at. I'm still going to try and work on more than one project at a time. This may take some experimentation, but I will make it work. So I've tried alternating days on my projects (which works, I'm just not always excited about starting work on the project that's not going as well) and I've tried planning zombie book first, then writing Ivy long hand. (I don't get as many words done on Ivy, but I do get work done.)

The reason I'm so stubborn about this is because of the vision I have for my future as a writer. I picture myself with a space of my own (not having to retreat to the bedroom with a notebook and pen, or sitting on the couch with my laptop, but a real desk where things don't move when I put them down). My future writer-self is professional and can always handle a deadline with finesse. And if the muse wants to try something other than what I'm on contract for, I want to be able to write it.

The thing is, I want to be professional, but still be able to say to my future agent, "I have this project I've been working on. Tell me what you think."

I haven't told many people this, but I have a sci-fi short story swimming around in my head. I don't write sci-fi and it would be difficult to market it alongside my other work. But I treasure the freedom I have that allows me to write it (should I so choose).

So, for all you writers out there, what does freedom mean to you? What would you hate to lose, once you sold to a publisher?

Query FAIL

Okay, this is really embarrassing, but I think I have to share so others won't make the same mistake. I finished my novel Roses and Mirrors a while ago. It started out as a short YA, but I rewrote it to be a short middle grade.

The thing was, it was still REALLY short. 28,000 words. I wanted the book to be closer to 35k or even 45k, but I had heard that the range for middle grade started around 25k.

I think I heard wrong. I read the words of a few agents that said they *might* consider something in the mid-30,000s, but they'd prefer it to be longer.

What? You must mean mid-20,000s....

Nope.

Unfortunately by this time, I had sent out all my queries. I knew I was supposed to stagger them and I did. I sent out 3-5 at a time for a while. In the first two weeks I got a partial and a full request, so I figured I'd done a good job on something. So I patted myself on the back and sent out a few more queries. And a few more.

And then the form rejections started rolling in. At first, I thought this was no big deal. I expected form rejections. Then I read about the more appropriate word count range and I started to worry. What if I was getting these form rejections because of my word count? I mean, it makes sense. I got better feedback on Shadow Bound and, according to my critique group (and family), Roses and Mirrors is way better.

I'm still deciding what to do about this. Do I requery in a few months? Do I shelve it? 

Whatever I choose, I'm going back and making this book right. Some great subplots have come to mind and I've toyed with my main plot to see if I can make it twistier and more gut wrenching ('cause I'm evil like that). But I've already done some serious damage. Please. Don't make the same mistakes I did. Query slow. And double triple-check your facts. I wasn't familiar enough with middle grade before I started querying. Genre-hopping isn't as easy as they make it look. :)

Writing Multiple Books at Once

I've finished another book (sort of) and now I'm planning my next one. I'm eager to start writing it. I want to see where the story leads, what's around that twist I planned, and how my character's personality develops in prose. But I can't start writing until I nail down a few details about my concept.

And while I'm excited to start my zombie book, Ivy (from my "finished" book) demands my attention. (Teenage girls are like that.)

A quick recap: I thought I was done, but it turns out the story could be better. So I'm writing out a few new scenes, I'm going to rearrange a few plot points based on feedback from my critique group, and then I'll polish some prose (again). Then I'll set it aside for a few months and work on my next project. Really.

I want to do Ivy justice. She deserves it. But after I make some changes, Roses and Mirrors needs some time to cool off, I think.

It's hard. I want to make sure I do the best thing for my books. I'm just not always sure what that is.

One thing I did learn: I can't juggle multiple projects like I thought I could. It'll get easier if I keep at it. Right?

Floundering

I have to admit, I haven't been on top of my game the last few weeks. My unedited manuscript from NaNoWriMo keeps staring back at me. I told myself I would edit Shadow Bound again, but I'm way too close to it still.

With Shadow Bound, I feel like the story is set in stone. Like I can edit the scenes, but not change them completely. I think that's my problem. Scene X is boring not because the dialogue isn't quite right, but because nothing happens! It needs to be done away with completely, but it's so hard to see things like that after editing so many times.

And then there's Song of the Muse. I'm scared to even look at it. It's shameful, really. I think that because it's a NaNo novel, I tell myself it's awful and needs a complete overhaul. But it's not that bad. It really isn't.

I know a lot of writers deal with this kind of slump and I've always felt guilty because writing on a daily basis came so naturally to me. But now it's catching up to me. I got maybe four or five chapters into Shadow Bound and then pthtt! And my Muse is being fed (and not driving me to write) because I've been reading such wonderful books during the Christmas break.

**sigh**

I've also been preoccupied with some major family/life changes including our new puppy, who needs constant attention and training. Then there's the holidays, being sick, and focusing on my health. It's really just a lot of excuses, I know. These are things I just need to push through. Every writer has setbacks. And every successful writer overcomes them.

Is Your NaNo stuck?

Okay, so we’re about a week into NaNoWriMo. Stuck yet? Here are a few ideas to get you going and/or motivated.

1) Mind Map. Have a problem? Can’t figure out why a cat keeps popping up in your scenes? Maybe your character received a letter in the mail and you don’t know what it is. (Been there.) Try putting whatever “it” is in the middle of a piece of paper (or a program like http://bubbl.us) and ask yourself questions about it. Write whatever comes to mind. It’s worked for me countless times.

2) Try a Timer. Set it for 10-20 minutes and write NON-STOP until the timer goes off. Write about your problem or whatever comes to mind. Just make sure you don’t censor yourself or edit. When you’re done, look back at what you wrote. Do you understand your problem a little better? Did you discover a new angle or viewpoint or solution?

Did it work?

How to Get Great Ideas and What to Do With Them

Each of us has a creative side. You wouldn't be reading this if you didn't. It's that little voice in the back of your head that throws out ideas. I call mine my Muse and I've talked about her before. (Yes, my Muse is a she.)

I was thinking about what makes my Muse "sing". Typically, if your creative voice is on, your cognitive, logical voice has to be turned off. If you're familiar with right-brain, left-brain research, this is exactly what I'm talking about. Your left brain has to take a back seat if your right brain is going to have any say. (Sometimes transition is pretty quick. There are exercises you can do to help with this.)

So how do you hand the microphone to your Muse? How do you turn off the left brain?
By doing something mundane, everyday, or mind-numbing. Sounds fun, right?

My Muse hates to be bored, so when the left-brain turns off, she steps forward and tries to make things interesting. (This is why TV usually isn't a great way for me to brainstorm. My Muse is already entertained.)

So if I need some good ideas, I have to do something like fold laundry, go for a walk, rake leaves, stare at a blank computer screen, or try to fall asleep. (Unsuccessfully. Usually. I do get some awesome dreams on occasion.)
It's darn inconvenient, but I get my best ideas as I'm drifting off to sleep. (A great reason to keep a notebook handy on my nightstand.) For example, last night I was trying to sleep while my husband was reading with the light on. And a voice came into my head. Not a literal voice, just words that had personality. And the personality wasn't mine. I had struck gold!

Unfortunately, my daughter had run off with my notebook. I didn't go and look for it and of course, I don't remember the whole thing. But I'd like to share my train of thought and the words that I do remember.

I was thinking about how to begin my story. I have a premise in mind and several scenes planned out, so I wasn't starting from nothing. My mind drifted to books that I love. Ella Enchanted by Gail Carson Levine is my favorite and it's young adult fantasy, just like Phantom. Ella Enchanted started just outside the story with the first-person narrator talking about something that happened before the story actually begins.

The other book I thought of was The Lightning Thief by Rick Riordan. I loved this series. It was the series I wish I had written. Anyway, the book starts with Percy (the main character, also in first person) talking directly to the reader. He tells us something about the main theme of the book and beautifully melds his world with ours.

So then I moved back to my book. I'm pretty sure I want to do first person. I write better characters and cleverer detail that way. I wanted to begin my books like Riordan and Levine did.

That's when my Muse sang. (Not literally. I'm not crazy.)

The words for the beginning of my story popped into my head. My memory only recalls bits and pieces, but here's what I have:

My school is haunted. They should have seen it coming, building a boarding school where a prison used to be.

That's all I remember. Sad, huh?

So let that be a lesson to you. It's always worth getting out of your nice warm bed to go get a pen and pad when an idea hits you. Make yourself do it. You won't be sorry.

How to Cope with a Writing Workshop

I had my first Advanced Fiction Workshop this week, and I think I'll keep going. Our first assignment is people-watching, which I need to do more of. This class will be good for me. Looking at the assignments, I can see that there's a lot that I would never do on my own.

We'll be writing a short short story (2-3 pages--yikes!) every WEEK for the first half of the semester.

I'm intimidated. Getting a full story in three pages is just plain scary. Not to mention the fact that I need to come up with a new story idea on a weekly basis...

ON TOP OF revising and rewriting Shadow Bound AND planning and writing my phantom novel.

Our last day of class is November 30th. How inconvenient. This means crunch time falls right in line with NaNoWriMo. I'll definitely have my hands full.

But it's worth it. I'll grow as a writer and I'll get to use some techniques from Think Sideways. In the first month of the course, we're taught to "summon lightning", or a story idea. I did it, but I wasn't looking for a new story idea at the time. Now I'll get to put it to good use. :)

There's also a later lesson on using "spies" -- basically, people who know more about what you're writing than you do. For example, I ask a doctor about hospital procedures so my writing is more authentic. Well, guess what? One of our assignments is to write a story that requires research and an interview. Nice how that works out.

Pay Attention to ALL Your Characters

I just deleted over 2,000 words. Why would I do this when I’m having trouble getting enough words as it is? Because I messed up. Big time.

You see, when I get started writing, I just go with it. I get in the head of my POV character and I fly. It usually works out. I know the general direction the story needs to take and I have a (albeit vague) idea of what I want to accomplish in each scene (in my defense, I go back and make the scene tighter). My muse likes freedom and when I give it to her, I’m usually rewarded with some neat twists that I hadn't been expecting.

But there are some minuses. Aside from the aforementioned wandering that I sometimes catch myself doing, I don't frequently get in the heads of my other characters. I figure out each character at the beginning--discover their motives, needs, personality--but rarely do I stop and think, "How wil so-in-so react to this?"

And today it cost me 2,000 words and about 2 hours of writing and planning. Maybe more. Chapter 12 has been demolished and I’m having to start from ground zero. All because I didn’t use my villain to his full potential. He was being way too nice, only attacking when convenient and never really threatening anyone, just trying to be scary.

Now, he has an army waiting outside my heroine's home, ready to attack her mom as soon as she steps over the protective threshold of her home. And she won’t even see it coming.

For a brief synopsis, see my earlier post: My Current Project